I know I’ve got some splainin to do. It’ll just have to wait for a bit though, as the logistics of life have thrown themselves at me the past few hours since I’ve been home.
When I got back from Chicago yesterday I found my home stone cold. The pipe that had burst late on Tuesday afternoon had indeed turned out to be part of the hot water system that runs throughout the house (I’d thought so but dreaded to have it confirmed). Yikes. A nail, softly laying aside the pipe for nigh on these past forty years had finally etched a tiny fissure in the copper after dozens of seasonal freezes and thaws… I had it fixed last night, but sadly paid overtime for the job. Make that my mother paid overtime for the job. Sigh.
Spent a good part of the day writing my post on the events of Wednesday, but as I wrote I noticed that my usually chilly house was getting just a wee bit more uncomfortable than usual. Had that old familiar feeling. Was I, just perhaps, out of oil? I smiled at the thought. It doesn’t scare me so much anymore. I know the drill. (Ironic, isn’t it, to first have one’s heating system fixed only to then run out of fuel?) I checked the oil level and found indeed, I was out. Did some calculations and learned that I had been far more frugal this year than last, using less than 2 gallons a day. Well and good, Elizabeth, but it don’t count for much if you don’t plan things out in advance. ! And I hadn’t. (Rather than face head-on when it was that I might run out of oil, I’d used the ‘duck and cover’ approach. You know – if you don’t acknowledge it, it won’t happen. ! ). So I got myself $30 worth of kerosene and poured it in. Good til Monday. Somehow, it will be alright. I just know.
So. Kid’s in the bath and I need to give him some attention. Been distracted with the heat, the plumbers, the crap that’s popped up since last night when I got home. Will post the update tomorrow, I promise. Suffice to say I thank you all. I know you helped. Things went well. Some might not agree, but in the end, just to know where I stand is better than the state of limbo I’ve been in these past three years. I’ve wrapped up this era in my life. Even if I still fall well within the government’s definition of poverty, it’s ok. I have a much better sense of peace. The threat of impending drama has dimmed.
I’m divorced, and I’m not divorced, both at the same time. Really. Not quite there even still. But at least now I can see that the speck of light ahead is actually the end of this tunnel, and just the beginning of a whole new run of track.