This may not be the best time to make a new post, but I’m caught in a netherworld right now in which I can find no comfort from any single position, nor food or drink, and I don’t have any ability to do much but sit and shift in my seat to find relief. I will write in order to pass some time and take my mind off of the discomfort. I have, I can only guess based on past experience, been bitten by some insect in the early morning which has begun the process of the now-familiar anaphylactic attack. This is the fourth time I’ve experienced this; now I know the signs and so wasted little time today finding the benadryl pills stashed in the refrigerator door for just such an occasion. The last time this happened I writhed in agony on my parents’ floor for several hours before at last an ambulance was called. I know that these events, while miserable affairs, die down after about six hours and so I had been rather bummed that my trip to the ER had resulted in little relief but landed me a huge bill for the expensive taxi service.
I’m not the only one feeling out of sorts; Elihu experienced an episode of asthma last night the likes of which he hasn’t had in months. Perhaps our visit to grandma and grandpa’s five-cat household last night triggered it. We’ve also been lax in his asthma prevention routine lately, and I’m feeling like a negligent mother today. It is a horrible feeling to watch a young child struggle for breath in his sleep. You want to wake them, to administer something that might help, yet you want them to experience the relief of sleep, and so all you can do is look over them as they labor to breathe, the little chest puffing in and out so rapidly it’s exhausting just to watch. And so this is how the night passed.
Finally, this morning he was able to sit up and use his nebulizer. Now his breathing is somewhat more relaxed, although still raspy and shallow. As he took a break from inhaling the medicine from that noisy machine, he looked at me and said “Your face is red”. I’d been noticing in the past half hour that my face was getting very hot, and now the palms of my hands were itching and tingling. I was surprised my face was that noticeable. As my heart began to race and my gut began to feel as if I had some intestinal bug, I realized that I was not merely feeling a little off; something had bitten me and my body was kicking into gear. That’s when I understood that if I was to remain a viable parent right now, I needed to find the magic pills quickly.
So now we’re both doped up. As Elihu finished his round of nebulizer, he weakly jabbed his finger towards the ceiling. “You’re feeling high?” I asked. He smiled and nodded groggily. It’s not a good high mind you – from what Elihu tells me it feels strange; his whole body tingles and he feels a little disconnected. He doesn’t like it, yet he doesn’t hate it as it signals relief – and perhaps sleep – to come. A few minutes have passed and now he’s out, and I too am feeling I’m on the way. Geez. And it is the first saturday of our long weekend. The weather had started out fine today. We’d so much planned; we were to move our fifteen large chicks from the basement to the coop today. It was to have been a big day. Now it will be a sleepy, bed-ridden day instead.
It’s starting to get cloudy and looks like rain. Maybe this isn’t such a bad day to be in bed. Off to nap. I hope when we wake we will find ourselves restored and ready for our homestead chores.
The Hillhouse 