The Hillhouse

The Journey of a Mother and Son

Family Fireworks June 3, 2012

Filed under: An Ongoing Journal...,Divorce Diary,Mommy Mind — wingmother @ 8:45 pm
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I hate this. I really do. Fareed misses his son and has a busy life. A touring schedule, other kids, plans, expectations… He wants Elihu to come to Illinois for the beginning of July and stay for the fourth. Yet Elihu really wants to be here for the 4th of July. I wish there was some way for me to explain to Fareed that I’m actually lobbying for him; I try to frame the situation for Elihu in such a way that he understands he’ll enjoy himself there, that he won’t miss anything by being in Illinois on the fourth. I myself didn’t know quite why it was so important to Elihu that he be here on the Fourth of July until he finally explained it to me today; he likes the unstructured nature of our July 4th holiday in Saratoga. He can play his drum on the street, he can watch a parade, he can play with the ducks in the park and run around with kids he meets. Serendipity guides us and sometimes magical events appear. They have in the past, but who knows how this fourth will pan out? I remind him that we don’t know if it’ll be as great as he hopes. But then Elihu points out that with two little ones in tow they end up planning everything in Illinois. Life with his little brothers is much more structured, and Elihu feels confined. He says there’s no room for anything unexpected or unplanned to happen when he’s with them. I get it. I do. But his father needs to see him. What do I do?

They’re on the phone right now discussing it. I’m happy to know that Elihu finally feels he has a voice in all this. Elihu has his chicken calendar out and I can hear him considering different options with his dad. I want everyone to be happy. But for now I’m staying out of it. My stress level rises when I receive emails from Fareed about vacation plans. It’s so hard to make sure everyone gets what they want. Elihu just told me that they’ve figured out a plan that works, and he’s bopping around the house in a good mood. I’m glad he’s happy, but his energy is through the roof and it’s nearly nine now – and once again we’re getting to bed too late on a school night. I gotta get him wound down somehow. And the chickens aren’t even in yet cuz it’s still kind of light out, so I still have to go deal with that. Ugh. I just want to go to sleep already. I’m so done with my day.

I hope it works out well for all of us, cuz I’m too tired for fireworks tonite.

 

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