You know that old joke about the drowning guy, the boats and God? Well, if you don’t, here it is: Guy’s at sea in a sinking boat. Some fishermen come by and offer to save him. He turns them away, saying that God will save him. Another boat comes by, the guy passes again. Then the Coast Guard comes by, and the man insists that he be left alone; God will save him. So finally, he drowns. In heaven, he asks God why He didn’t save his life – after all he’d put all his faith in Him. God answers, “I tried! I sent a boat to save you three times.” Duh.
I shoulda known. Had two ‘lost key’ scares over the past month. Both times I told myself that I would definitely heed the tiny warnings and have a spare key made. Out here in the country it’s fair to say our lives depend upon my vehicle. But I chose not have a copy made – and so today the universe issued its third and final notice. However, unlike the drowning man, I still have one more chance, and I’m going to take it as soon as I can, having ignored the first two warnings. Elihu was messing around in the car this morning before I came out (he’s never been outside and ready to go before me – this was a first!) and somehow he locked all the doors and then left the keys inside. He left a door open – in his mind to be ‘safe’ – and I, seeing it open promptly shut it. I then walked around to get in and made the discovery that I thought had not been possible since 1986; I learned my keys were locked inside my car. Crap. I remember this feeling. And although it had crossed my mind as a slim possibility, I hadn’t seriously entertained it because hey, this is 2013 – no one locks their keys in the car anymore, right?? And if you should happen to – seems to me that it’s all over. I could jimmie my way into a ’73 Buick Electra, even my ’78 Mustang, but an ’05 CRV? That thing’s shut up tight. The only fix I could see was a rock through the window.
Thankfully, Larry over at the shop came by and showed me a little trick he’s got – he uses this inflatable bladder thingee to expand the door from the car, and then he works a little old-fashioned magic and inserts a long, rubber coated wire inside to simply pull up the lock. (Guess my locks are still kinda old school – what I would have done had I those flush-mounted locks I have no idea. !) Needless to say, I have since called my local Honda dealership and will have a working copy of the key made today. As I told Elihu after I regrouped from a torrent of anger (we’d had an absolutely lovely morning so far and I so did not want to spoil it with my rage) this was mostly my fault. He’d not quite understood how dire it could be if we were locked out of the car, now he did. He was so sorry, too. I averted tears by telling him how silly I’d been to ignore the universe’s polite warnings about making a spare. I, apparently, needed to be clobbered over the head to get the message. ! Had him giggling, which helped keep the morning a happy one. The other gal who we share rides with came over and took him to school, and shortly I’ll deliver him his lunch (which had been locked in the car.)
Years ago, I’d vowed to take that little voice inside, magnify it ten times, and heed it’s advice. Many times through the years since then I’ve blown off that promise, only to remind myself after an unfortunate event, that I could have avoided such an outcome if I’d only done what I knew needed to be done in the first place… We all know the things we need to do. We all know when we’re pushing it; when we’re taking unnecessary risks. So why the hell do we thwart that tiny God voice within? We’re in a hurry, it’s as bit more money than we’d like to spend, it’s not really convenient… Ok. Lesson learned. Larry’s service call cost me $25, but it won’t be money wasted if it helps me to pay better attention in the future. Here’s hoping the third time’s a charm…
A ‘Post’ Post, dated 3/1 /13…
Apparently, I didn’t listen well enough to the universe – and the complete message that should have been received was “and get a jumper box while you’re at it – cuz if your car battery goes dead and you’re out here at the end of a long driveway on your own – you’re screwed. Just sayin. Hope you’re paying close attention; that’s what those two recent jumps by kind neighbors were all about. Now ya get it? Ok – over and out. Good luck!”
Third strike happened today. Thankfully I was just paid by a student, so I can afford to go to Sears today and buy that handy jumper box. After my neighbor Tom comes over to give me my third jump in as many months, that is. ! Slow learner, I guess…
The Hillhouse 
It’s good to hear that everything turned out all right. We all need to learn some things the hard way, it seems. Sometimes we listen to our insight enough to prevent a future problem, and other times, we need to have the lesson hit us on the head. Speaking of that story you mentioned, I’ve heard another version of of it. It is eseentially the same, onl in this version, it’s a flood.
The rain is pouring down, and the river is rising. Someone comes by a cabin in the country to let the man know that there’s a bad flood coming, and that they had better get out of there. “Don’t worry,” says the man, “I’m trusting that God will save me from the flood.” Later, as the flood waters reach all the way up to the house, someone else comes by in a motorboat to take the man away. Again he says, “I’m trusting that God will save me from this flood.” Later, the flood waters have risen so far that the man had to climb up on his rooftop, which was the only part of the cabin still sticking up out of the water. A Coast Guard helicopter comes by, but the man waves them off, saying that he’s trusting that God will save him from the flood. Later, the waters rise above the house, and the current takes the man away to his death. In heaven, he asks God, “Why didn’t you save me from the flood?”, and God answers, “What do you mean? I sent you a car, then I sent you a boat, and then I even sent you a helicopter! What more do you want?”
Oops! I typed too fast and didn’t proofread it. On the last line of the first paragraph, I spelled “essentially” with one ‘s’ and two ‘e’s, and left the ‘y’ out of “only”. There’s a lesson learned the hard way: I can’t go back and change it now. If you want to fix it, that would be great.
don’t hire me as your copy editor. I missed the typos completely. !
I did something I thought was impossible once. I locked my keys in my car with it running.
ouch. !
I’ve heard that joke too but it was closer to Eric’s version above…and it was a rabbi and he talks with a Yiddish accent. I used to procrastinate like crazy but these days I try to do things as soon as I see they need doing. I guess I’ve come to like my plate as clean as possible, but also, especially with little things, if I don’t jump on them, I tend to forget all about them. I tell my friends that I’m pretty organized…but for a musician I’m like “NASA” organized. I don’t drive but I well know how frustrating locking the keys in a car can be. Glad you were able to get help. OK, here’s another joke: Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in his car? He had to break the window to let the drummer out. ;~) GB
woo hoo!! :)